End o’ “year”/decade “movie” revi”ews”

This review has been ghost-written for Ja-cen Bobdro by the esteemed/sassy Gord Plimp.

It’s the end of 2010 and also the end of “The Roarin’ O’zos,” therefore it’s time to review my favorite movies and “films” of the past ten beers.

Night of the Living Dad (2005)- This tour-de-force starring lead actor Gil Grammin and CGI dolphin “Porpie Dan” is a spoof and a goof on George Romero’s Night of the Living Dead. What at first glance is seemingly only a frame-for-frame remake of the original entirely dubbed with farting noises and with a CGI dolphin crudely animated into it soon reveals itself to be a glaring no-holds-barred social commentary on the spaghetti industry. Five stars.

The Fifties: A Mockumentary of the Fourties (2001)- This made for CD movie first aired on Pops Channel 9. Golden Grobe nominee Alb ‘Show Biz’ Beener plays his career defining role as Jib Jibson, a down-and-out sandwich salesman in the throes of depression during the Great Sandwich Famine of 1932. Jib meets a cartoon cat, voiced by famed haberdasher Charles Bronson, who changes his life – FOR THE HILARIOUS. Eleven stars.

Noggin 2: The Zombo Noggins Strike Back (2009)- In this biographical drama directed by Ran-D Quade, The Police frontman/former WCW heavyweight champion Sting portrays the visionary Benny Hill. A heart-wrenching story recommended for anyone who likes to laugh and love and live. Ten stars.

Dancin’ 10: Back 2 Basicz (20xx)- This under-the-radar independent film was advertised as an instructional video, but turned out to be a brilliant claymation depiction of two bananas having sex. Both educational and “inner”taining, this is a great film for children. Eight stars.

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One Response to End o’ “year”/decade “movie” revi”ews”

  1. murdochthesungod says:

    Fantastic films, Gord-O, you and your mercilessly analytical writning style are a treat to have featured on the B-Blawg. Two films I feel were left out:

    Snass, P.I. (2000) – This story of a detective captured my heart and my wallet with its innovative Fore-D! (a trademark of Sassin’ Frass Industrial Chemical) technology. Won numerous awards including, but not limited to: The Lumbo for Best Actor (Robo-Category), voted “Most Likely to Be Wacky” at the Gibbies, and the thirteen Snaries actor Hank “Toyz” Saaurus’ won for his portrayal of the titular Snass, a robo-man with a penchant for robo-whiskey and robo-women.

    Redemption From the Dinn-Dinn Table (unknown) – This triumphant tale of a young boy(age: 1) and his imaginary dragon friends, who turn out to be more real than anyone could expect! The high body count and pulsating techno soundtrack might turn off some to this “little film that could”, but repeat viewings reveal nuances that can only be seen with the heart, or with Emotion Goggles Fore-D! (a trademark of Sassin’ Frass Industrial Chemical)

    Sincerely,
    K. Fraenkel Turneer
    CEO, Sassin’ Frass Industrial Chemical

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